I'll make sure I cross that name out before I forget to
and let you read it without thinking.
Outside, a man with a tiny umbrella has been places that I haven't been today and
I will shower and
go to work, but
I wanted to get something out of me
Shake it off of my skin that doesn't feel anything.
That was a bold faced lie, he said
and so I said
What does that mean.
You haven't even really tried, she said
We'll at least now, for you,
I'm clean, kind of.
But with the alcohol, it doesn't hurt so bad
and I can say whatever makes sense
at the time
and if you reply with something unsettling
it won't hit as hard
point out to me the
doubt you that see when
I am on my knees and telling you that
I love you.
"I wanted to get something out of me/ Shake it off of my skin that doesn't feel anything."
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me of the previous poem you shared.
The lines from the poem They're Not My Feelings: "All of the tiny little specks/like monsters in the air/lurking around you, there[...]"
To me this poem is about numbness... "and if you reply with something unsettling/ it won't hit as hard"
I think the last lines show that the speaker of this poem has been numbing herself and when she reveals to others how she truly feels they are doubting because they're not sure if she really means it (because she's been so used to the routine of daily life and feeling foreign in her own skin).