you keep smiling
in between
all my thinking
and it feels terrible again to feel
like just a piece of some half eaten cake, you know
just half there
half not
and whatever
if I am because it
makes no difference whether I am
paralyzed or
a goddamned olympic medalist running so fast
never looking back
fire and anger towards
an alcoholic mother and some
faraway feeling to fuel me
I'll stay lost
and it won't cost you a thing
I miss you though but
you crack under the white lights that rush toward us on the way to my apartment,
still smiling,
still smiling.
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